Livng abroad and exploring a new city has been one of the most inspiring and confidence building things I have ever done. Getting out of my comfort zone is exactly what I needed. Looking back, I see now that I was truly unhappy but dind’t realize it at the time. My actions and reactions to situations were all a result of my inner unhappiness. I felt trapped and at a standstill. Despite the personal growth that I have observed in myself, the new experiences and people I’ve met and my new job there is one major negative about this whole “traveler abroad” lifestyle…goodbyes.
Does anyone ever get used to saying goodbyes? I think so. I’ve seen it. I see people around me who seamlessly and easily say goodbye to their good friends. And these goodbye are often forever goodbyes or “see you when I see you” goodbyes. How do they do it? How do they effortlessly put these people out of their minds knowing that the shared experiences they had together will become a distant memory soon. It hurts me everytime.
I have never been the type of person who does well with saying goodbyes. In elementary school I hung onto my friends for as long as I could-I knew we would stand the test of time (we didn’t really). I hung on until I felt them struggling to get away, with their new friends, new life. I was left out of their new life, but that was o.k I also started my new life.
Fast forward to where I am today and goodbyes haven’t gotten any easier. Travelling and living abroad unite people who are doing the same thing! Which is wonderful. There is a travler bond, and international club where we stick together. it’s one of the best aspects of this whole she-bang. The downside-saying goodbye to these people who have helped to shape your expriences in a new country, who you depended on like family through different experiences, ups and downs. How do you say goodbye to someone who you shared secrets with that you probably haven’t told people back home (anonymity of traveling is also a bonus!). How do you say goodbye to someone who you know you may not ever really see again, or may not ever have this same moment being together abroad in this exact experience ever again.
I have always been a thinker. An internal person. So maybe I am blowing things out of proportion. Maybe I just need to get used to goodbyes and suck it up. But I don’t realy want to get used to saying goodbye. I don’t want to become one of those people I see so often who have become accustomed to goodbyes. Where friendships are a dime a dozen and moving onto another friend is easy as pie…or perhaps they have it right. Maybe that is how we can protect ourself from the stinging of forever goodbyes.
It not even the goodbye to the individuals that is heartbreaking. But more the goodbye to this moment in time, this exact moment in time where you share each other’s lives, friends and moments. Knowing that it will never be the same is heartbreaking.
Tell me how does one get used to goodbyes? Because I haven’t figured it out.